Articles

Selfish Undertakers

In Lessons, Life on May 16, 2011 by kiltforhire Tagged: , , , , ,

I have a rant that has been building up inside of me for a long time.

A long, long time. So much it feels like a galaxy far, far away.

I fucking hate selfish undertakers…no not the people who bury the dead. Those people have a dead tough job…groan.

I hate it when I am sitting in my car in a queue not really moving too fast when some tosser decided that THEY are too good to queue up and decide to ram down the left hand side of the road then force their way in.

Same thing happens when you are heading towards the tunnels in Sydney in your car. More than half the shitty traffic is caused by fuckers undertaking then trying to cut in just to save them five more minutes as the queues start to build up.

I don’t do it and everytime I see someone do it I just want to drop some kind of laser from the sky to vaporise them. This is a good note for future governments NEVER give me access to some kind of super-weapon. I will use it to destroy these people.

I want to try and get to the root of the problem and I believe it is people’s fundamental belief that they are better than other people. They think they have the right to cut in front of people because they deserve to be in front of others. These same people would never think of doing this kind of thing in a queue for tickets or a queue for a cab because people would probably just ending up smacking the utter fuck out of them.

Only recently I was involved in an incident when I was waiting in a taxi queue and one of these selfish undertakers just decided to walk in front of the queue. Two girls were at the start of the queue and he just stared at them obviously daring them to say something. I’m not known for being quiet at the best of times so I called him up on it. He was a shocked and stunned that someone would dare to.

Now I’m Scottish, which means I’m a short-arse. This guy was about six foot one.

But when we Scots get angry. We sound FUCKING ANGRY.

I was damned angry. How dare this guy intimidate the two women and how dare he think he was better than the other eight people standing in the queue. I fucking lost it. I used words that would make Billy Connolly blush. I went ballistic. I think I even called him an ass-munching felch burger.

He backed off and said he would get a taxi somewhere else and that I was mad. The girls thanked me for getting rid of them.

Obviously the situation could have gotten ugly but sometimes you have to risk those things to stand up for what is right. But when you put people in their little metal boxes what is risked is lives. These greedy, selfish people cause problems and cost lives all to get to their destination one minute earlier.

They fucking disgust me.

So, please, please, please don’t undertake. Wait in the queue and don’t think you are better than anyone else.

15 Responses to “Selfish Undertakers”

  1. That made me laugh. Here in Adelaide, we don’t have the congestion issues of Sydney and I have not seen that very much. I do remember seeing it a lot in many of the Asian countries I lived and worked in. In and around Jakarta and Manila it was considered very normal and in other countries it happened.

    Good on you for taking a stand with assholes like the queue jumper.

  2. Here, here!!

    Recently I needed to use the M4 at peak hour, a mistake I’ll never make again. I had to wait nearly 30 mins to move 200 metres just to get to the entry ramp to the M4, with a crying newborn in the back I must add, and there were a glut of these undertakers trying to pull in at the last minute. I have never been prouder of my fellow drivers. We were all driving practically nose to tail to ensure no one would let these rude, selfish undertakers in. Nothing boils my blood more than people who think they are too good to wait like everybody else!

  3. Feel exactly the same way as you, Scott.

    These people ARE the reason for the jam sometimes…

    What to do what to do…

  4. You’re dead right about these people thinking they are better than the rest and unfortunately it doesn’t stop with undertaking.

    I’ve worked for one of the big 2 Telco’s (please don’t hold it against me, heh) for over 10 years now, in the faults departments first for residenial then business.

    I remember one time a customer had a fault that required a tech to attend and the first I had available was the next morning.
    Well this just was not good enough and they launched into a tirade about how they should be getting better service (not that I disagree on that point, we all deserve better service).

    Now this had always managed to get my point across in the past but you could have blown me down with a feather when the customer replied. ‘Right then, you had better go and do that now…’
    I started by advising them that the techs were assigned on a first come, first served basis and to have a tech attend on that day I would need to take he booking away from someone who had already called in.

    Anyways, this long story is my way of agreeing with you whole heartedly and come the revolution, I’m making sure you get the keys to the Deathstar. 😀

    • not sure what happened with my previous post but it transposed the following paragraph

      I started by advising them that the techs were assigned on a first come, first served basis and to have a tech attend on that day I would need to take he booking away from someone who had already called in.

      Now this had always managed to get my point across in the past but you could have blown me down with a feather when the customer replied. ‘Right then, you had better go and do that now…’

  5. Oh, get over it people. Just because you don’t have the nerve (or the smarts) to do this, doesn’t mean the ones that do are tossers. Considering the daily congestion on Sydney roads, I’d say undertaking cuts road rage by a huge factor, apart from the those badgering do-gooders impotently fuming from way at the back…

    Plus, it’s completely legal and, if you read your road rules, you are REQUIRED to allow cars to merge when lanes come together, or YOU could be the one copping the fine. Hasn’t happened to me, but have seen it happen.

    Let them in, accept their wave of thanks (if you’re nice, they will be too – it’s organic that way) and the raods will get that little bit better. It’s the people constantly blocking others and the complete ignorance of the rules around merging that cause a lot of the traffic snarls.

  6. oh, and you cannot equate this with waiting in a single line queue for tickets, or a numbered ticketing system at an RTA or somesuch – completely different scenarios and conditions.

  7. “ass-munching felch burger” — best insult I’ve heard in ages! Love it and stealing it!!

  8. Merging late is perfectly reasonable, and usually reduces congestion on on-ramps. That’s why the merging lane is so long – to allow more cars to move up the on-ramp at once.

    Merging early means that you’re letting fewer people through the lights that feed onto the on-ramp. If everyone merges later, and the people on the freeway allow them to zipper in, then you have an efficient system.

    If you have many cars trying to squeeze in as early as possible, then you congest the on-ramp, and you cause a dangerous situation where the merging is unpredictable, for the often much-faster moving vehicles who are in the left lane of the freeway.

    I will always move up to the end of the merge lane, and take any at-speed merging opportunity I can see all the way up to the end, or just ‘shove’ in at the end if they’re not moving at speed.

    I do this because I’m considerate of the people behind me, and ultimately, considerate of all road users.

  9. I don’t know that it’s wrong. And I’m reasonably confident that it’s not wrong. This is a cut+paste from the Transport + Main Roads website, which is another way of saying more or less what I said:
    Merging onto a freeway

    “The Department of Transport and Main Roads recommends that drivers who merge onto a freeway build up speed to match that of the traffic already on the freeway. In most cases this enables drivers to find a safe gap in the traffic. It is also common practice, and recommended by the Department of Transport and Main Roads, that drivers already on the freeway exercise courtesy and allow space for drivers trying to enter the freeway, either by adjusting their speed or changing lanes.”

    It doesn’t say anything about using the whole merge lane (which is your specific beef) but it certainly doesn’t tell drives who are on the freeway to be cocks to those who are merging in. It says the opposite.

    • Yes but people see the queue and drive down it knowing full well they are skipping those people who have ben queuing.
      Those people are the selfish wankers.

      • Agreed.

        Half the agro I’ve come across in traffic is from people trying to push their way past everyone else.

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