Posts Tagged ‘Scottish’


Selfish Undertakers

In Lessons,Life on May 16, 2011 by kiltforhire Tagged: , , , , ,

I have a rant that has been building up inside of me for a long time.

A long, long time. So much it feels like a galaxy far, far away.

I fucking hate selfish undertakers…no not the people who bury the dead. Those people have a dead tough job…groan.

I hate it when I am sitting in my car in a queue not really moving too fast when some tosser decided that THEY are too good to queue up and decide to ram down the left hand side of the road then force their way in.

Same thing happens when you are heading towards the tunnels in Sydney in your car. More than half the shitty traffic is caused by fuckers undertaking then trying to cut in just to save them five more minutes as the queues start to build up.

I don’t do it and everytime I see someone do it I just want to drop some kind of laser from the sky to vaporise them. This is a good note for future governments NEVER give me access to some kind of super-weapon. I will use it to destroy these people.

I want to try and get to the root of the problem and I believe it is people’s fundamental belief that they are better than other people. They think they have the right to cut in front of people because they deserve to be in front of others. These same people would never think of doing this kind of thing in a queue for tickets or a queue for a cab because people would probably just ending up smacking the utter fuck out of them.

Only recently I was involved in an incident when I was waiting in a taxi queue and one of these selfish undertakers just decided to walk in front of the queue. Two girls were at the start of the queue and he just stared at them obviously daring them to say something. I’m not known for being quiet at the best of times so I called him up on it. He was a shocked and stunned that someone would dare to.

Now I’m Scottish, which means I’m a short-arse. This guy was about six foot one.

But when we Scots get angry. We sound FUCKING ANGRY.

I was damned angry. How dare this guy intimidate the two women and how dare he think he was better than the other eight people standing in the queue. I fucking lost it. I used words that would make Billy Connolly blush. I went ballistic. I think I even called him an ass-munching felch burger.

He backed off and said he would get a taxi somewhere else and that I was mad. The girls thanked me for getting rid of them.

Obviously the situation could have gotten ugly but sometimes you have to risk those things to stand up for what is right. But when you put people in their little metal boxes what is risked is lives. These greedy, selfish people cause problems and cost lives all to get to their destination one minute earlier.

They fucking disgust me.

So, please, please, please don’t undertake. Wait in the queue and don’t think you are better than anyone else.


What the hell does UnAustralian mean?

In Lessons,Life on April 15, 2011 by kiltforhire Tagged: , , ,

I noticed my friend Jaya Myler (@jayamyler) on Twitter saying she thinks the term UnAustralian is being bandied around too much this week.

In fact this ad came out this week:

And it made me realise that having lived in Australia for the last seven years I have no idea what UnAustralian means.

It only seems to be used by people who want to have a go at other people when they have no basis for attacking them or when they don’t want to be as honest as they should.

People have tried to explain UnAustralian as being all about mateship, a bond between people etc etc and yet I don’t see that happening a lot. At least no more than in any other country I have been in.

Now I realise this blog post may upset some of my Australian friends but to be honest I don’t think I’ve heard any of them ever utter the phrase except in jest – the problem is that politicians, advertisers and a whole bunch of others seem to use it as a way of getting at people they don’t like or don’t agree with and I personally think that’s damned rude. If you have something to say to someone then say it and don’t hide behind a phrase that doesn’t seem to exist in modern day.

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m UnAustralian for writing this blog post but to be honest the bond I have with my friends in the UK is the same bond I have with my friends in Australia.

I’m proud of my Scottish heritage. I swell with pride when I hear the Flower of Scotland sung and I have no doubt Australians do exactly the same when they hear someone sing their national anthem.

So yeah I guess I’m calling out the phrase UnAustralian. Maybe I just don’t understand it but then I guess I’d like to ask people…do you understand it?