kiltforhire

My train rules

I have the pleasure of commuting through Sydney on a daily basis. I even get to travel through the heart of the city and over the Harbour Bridge each day. Which makes it feel like you are on holiday (cause I’m from the other side of the world) that is until I get to work and I realize I’m at work and the holiday feeling slowly dissipates and the pops out of existence when I sit at my desk.

Like My Twitter Rules I also have a set of rules for traveling and today I’m going to write about some of my rules for surviving the daily commute on Sydney’s wonderful trains.

1. Buy a monthly or quarterly ticket on a Wednesday. Let’s not mess about here. Monday morning queues are crazy, the machine never works and people are jostling and annoyed. Buying a monthly in the middle of the week means I avoid queues and my life is quieter and easier. Plus they usually have the machine fixed by the Wednesday!

2. Plan your route and your place on the train but remember everyone else is doing this too so the key is to out-think them. I always check where the majority of exits are on my journey (as in when you get off the train where is closest exit). If there is one carriage that doesn’t line up well for any of them I’ll stick with it. Chances are I will get a nice comfy seat and won’t be bothered by people barging into me.

3. I always let people get off the train before I get on. It’s not rocket science. It’s not hard. My rule is don’t be a prick and don’t barge on. It’s rude and you will ruin people’s days and that’s not nice. It also stops me calling you a selfish bawbag.

4. Never break the fourth wall and talk to a pretend camera nearby. This freaks people out. Freaked out people on trains do tend to give you more room but this will also mean you will end up on someone’s Vine or Instagram looking silly.

5. If my train doesn’t have air-conditioning I stay next to the doors. The vents in the doors are pretty much the only way to get any breeze on a hot day. The tiny windows seem to have been designed to tell breezes that they are not wanted in this carriage. “Oh no bugger off breeze,” it says.

6. If I get a seat and it’s comfy and I’m sharing it with someone else I believe you shouldn’t move around too much or whip out a broadsheet newspaper. It’s not a paper to be read without two square miles of space around you.

7. I always get off my seat if someone looks like they need a rest or if they are: disabled, old, infirm, pregnant, a woman, a tired man, a blind person or done up in fancy dress.

8. If someone is being rude don’t be afraid to speak up especially if they are being rude to any of the above list. I’m more than happy to tell someone if they are being obnoxious. If you don’t want any hassle then I suggest moving to a different carriage or area.

9. I always keep my music of podcast at an acceptable level. Personal music should always be personal. Please don’t make me listen to your cover version of Aqua’s “I’m a Barbie Girl”.

10. Be tolerant of everyone especially tourists with bags. These people are visiting your city and you should always set an example and help them if you can. Today in fact I helped an elderly couple take their luggage off the train. They were very pleasant.

Just some of my train rules. If you have any others you want to add then add a comment below.