Posts Tagged ‘technology’

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My Google Glasses Rules

In Digital,Lessons,Life,Media,Social Media,Technology,Work on February 28, 2013 by kiltforhire Tagged: , , , , , ,

When I woke this morning my feed was full of chatter about Google Glasses. Google’s big man Sergey Brin while talking at TED said that smartphones are emasculating and forcing us all to look down – as a man I look down occasionally in a needed way which got me thinking about what would happen when you wear the glasses and the rules that will need to be enforced.

1. Don’t wear your Google Glasses at dinner/lunch/breakfast if you are sitting with other people. If you think people checking their phone is annoying just wait till people simply stare up to read their latest text.

2. Bathroom etiquette is going to be massive with this one. Don’t wear them at the urinal if you are a bloke. That could end up in fights if people think you are filming their cocks. And for everyone it’s gonna be rude to just record any and all bathroom chatter.

3. No google glasses in the cinema. I don’t want to see little lights in the top corner lighting up around me. SWITCH THEM OFF.

4. I realise that being a citizen journalist is gonna be awesome with these things but I also want you to think about what you upload. Don’t use them for evil.

5. Sex. No. Unless you feel like being kinky and watching that stuff later on…but let’s be honest what if your partner wears them and she puts the video on and all you see is yourself having sex. That’s gonna be weird right? Nobody wants to see the faces they make during sex.

6. In meetings at work. May seem like a good idea but no one will say anything because everyone will be paranoid it will come bite them in the ass.

7. Shower rooms. Hopefully the glasses are waterproof. This does not mean it’s ok to wear them in the gym shower room.

8. Surgeons. Leave my insides inside not outside on the web.

9. Don’t watch porn on them on the way to work. That’s freakin’ weird.

That’s pretty much the main ones for now but I have a feeling I’ll be adding a lot more to the list as time goes on.

Do you have any suggestions where you shouldn’t wear your Google Glasses?

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This is the future

In Technology on February 10, 2013 by kiltforhire Tagged: , , , ,

I don’t know if you have heard of something called Ultra-Ever Dry but god damn do I gots to get me some of that.

Now after watching this video and all of its lovely industrial uses it made me think about what I would use it for. I mean this stuff is hydrophobic yeah? It’s scared of water or liquid and tells it to politely bugger off and thus it suddenly lifts itself well out of industrial and straight into consumer in my eyes.

Firstly, I want to coat my windows in this stuff. Not just my car windows although that would be the first thing I would do – no real need for window wipers any more – and second my windows in my apartment so I could always look out and see the world when it’s pissing down (of course all those songs and poems that talk about watching water pour down windows rather than bouncing off may seem outdated).

Next up I would coat my rashie and my beach shorts… can you imagine it? You walk out of the sea and boom you are pretty much dry!

I would suggest that coating your hair may be a bad idea you know cause you won’t ever be able to wash it again till it grows out.

I would coat my trenchoat, my work trousers and my work shoes. So whenever it rains I’ll never really get wet again apart from my hair.

Then I’d coat my football shirt and shorts so I don’t ever have to worry about it getting sweaty or wet when it rains. Now what next I hear you say?

Well I need to check if you can eat off it but if you can then I’m gonna suggest EVERY SINGLE THING IN MY KITCHEN!! Cause then cleaning will take all of thirty seconds. Rinse and clean. Boom!!

I’d love to hear your suggestions as to what you would coat with this crazy future stuff!!??