While noticing parts of Masterchef last night – it was on the TV – I noticed the burger that Heston Blumenthal put together had no beetroot on it. Nor aioli.
I tweeted that Australians should realise this is how a burger should be. It shouldn’t have beetroot. My twitter feed was a flurry of pro and anti beetroot fans. It all went a bit mental. I seemed to have touched a part of the Australian psyche that many were attacking me and my attack on the beetroot. Even an MP got in on the act telling me that every good Aussie burger should have beetroot on it. Thankfully there were some beautiful people out there who came to my defence and said NO to Beetroot!
I guess I should have said before I posted that being a supertaster means I taste more than other others and beetroot’s on a burger bascially means it becomes totally overpowered by only one taste – that of the purple coloured monstrosity.
I enjoy a good burger. All of my friends will testify to that but I cannot stand a few things when I eat out.
1. Aioli. Listen you gourmet chefs out there beefburgers do not and should not ever have fucking have aioli on them. I’m sick of going into a restaurant or a pub and ordering a beefburger and it turning up with fucking aioli on it. Which brings me to point 2.
2. Menus where the chef has failed to list all the ingredients bar one and that one is usually aioli. So you get the burger and you have told them you don’t want beetroot or pickles and suddenly this burger appears slapped with tomato sauce on top and aioli on the bottom. WTF?!?
3. Beetroot. Keep it off the burger please.
4. Pickles. Not a fan but hey if it pleases most people fine I’ll just flip those suckers on to the side of the plate – please note you cannot do this with beetroot as the moment it gets slopped onto a burger it starts to spread like Eboli.
5. Chefs stop putting the parmigiana ON TOP OF THE CHIPS. Seriously. How the fuck am I supposed to cut the thing? If anything put the chips on top so I can eat them first THEN hit the Parma.
6. Pepper. Leave it out unless I request it or at least you ask me if I want it. Too many times have I been given pepper on a burger or whetever only for me to not eat the food. Not everyone like it so please have a care for us tongue disabled.
7. If you decide you want to spice up the food. Please put it on the menu. Too many times have I stumbled upon food with hidden chillis in it only to find that I cannot eat for hours afterwards.
8. Cripsy bacon should be crispy and not simply a wee bit hard at one end.
9. Thick bread is not good for French Toast. You should always use thin sliced bread. Thicker bread ends up being sopping and gooey.
10. Seriously drop the beetroot from the burger but get the bacon and egg in and the onion rings and ketchup or bbq sauce but never aioli or mayonnaise.
I should also point out that after making the comment about that Aussie burgers shouldn’t have beetroot I had a few people tell me that if I don’t like it then I should leave. This is a post I shall leave for another day but it’s a very interesting one about the amount of people in Australia that have said that to me when I complain about a tiny aspect of the country or culture.
Anyway, what’s on your perfect burger?