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Paul: A review

In Life,Movies on April 20, 2011 by kiltforhire Tagged: , , , , ,

Paul

I wasn’t expecting much going in to see Paul – the new movie from Simon Pegg and Nick Frost – mainly because of some lacklustre reviews and some people claiming that it just didn’t have the get up and go of both Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz.

Plus director Edgar Wright was nowhere to be seen.

Now I love Spaced. I mean I love it. It’s probably in my top five TV shows of all time and that includes Buck Rogers (although that may have been because of Command Wilma Deering played by Erin Gray and because I was at a very impressionable time in my life).

Spaced to me says it all about my generation. It’s packed with classic TV show and movie references. It’s incredibly intelligent and doesn’t play down to the audience. And finally it is about the closeness of friendships and the fact that you just don’t know who someone is till you get to know them. Wright directed and honed his geek-style in the series which would benefit him later with Scott Pilgrim V the rest of the World.

Shaun of the Dead was an instant classic. A Rom Zom Com filled with brilliant British actors and nods to so many classic zombie movies.

Hot Fuzz followed with Pegg, Frost and Wright teaming up once more for a buddy cop movie that paid homage to so many classics action movies from the 80s and 90s. I was lucky enough to work on the PR for this movie for Paramount Pictures in Australia and even got to sit down and chat with Pegg for a while discussing movies, games and his love of brilliant Glasgow pubs (his wife is Scottish).

When I first moved to Australia I brought four DVDs and that was two copies of Spaced DVDs just in case one got damaged. The guys signed them for me. One of my prize possessions!

So the build up for a buddy-road movie with Pegg and Frost heading to the fabled Comic-Con (one day I shall attend!!!!) and then visiting some of the America’s favourite UFO hotspots.

However, on their travels they stumble into an alien. Called Paul. Voiced by Seth Rogen.

I had grave reservations for this film. I was sure it would bomb. I was sure that I’d watch it and think that the glory days we over for these guys.

Wooooo, I was wrong!

It was superb. I laughed more times during this movie than any other in the last few years. It’s got so many brilliant uses of awesome sic-fi classic one-liners, great use of the cast, a solid script filled with excellent quotable lines and it has Paul.

Paul rocks. I figured a CGi alien would be a bit poo but I was wrong. Wrong on so many levels. The little guy makes the movie. You can’t help but like how awesome and laid back he is.

I’m so glad I saw this as the next film in the cinema after Sucker Punch as it has restored my faith in the movies.
Thank you Simon and Nick for once more confirming that you guys deserve a special place in the comedy hall of fame.

Oh and remind me some time to tell you about the time I saw a UFO in the UK…

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Articles

The love of celebrity

In Lessons,Life,Media on April 17, 2011 by kiltforhire Tagged: , , , , , ,

There are many things I don’t understand and and I’m happy to admit this but something I really don’t get is the obsession with celebrity that has taken over the world in the last x number of years.

Maybe many people have always been obsessed but with the proliferation of modern forms of media this, for me, has become seriously unhealthy.

But what freaks me out the most is the fact that people continue to follow and like people they know full well have done bad things.

Take Chris Brown for instance. Now before he beat up some singer called Rhianna I hadn’t heard of him. Then he beat her up showed little sign of remorse and moved on with his his life. I just saw an advert on television saying he is playing shows in Australia.

Yup, people are paying to go see someone who beat up a defenseless woman.

What should happen, in a sane world, is that he would turn up on stage and the only people in the crowd are victims of spousal abuse who throw eggs and rotten fruit at him. What actually happens is that thousands of teenagers and younger all head along and watch him sing and dance and look up to him.

What kind of an example is that for youngsters today that men who beat up women are still idolized simply because they can sing or dance or play sports or something.

These people should be vilified.

They should be hounded out of their industry.

But they don’t they continue to make money and keep doing what they are doing. Why, as a species, do we not all turn our back on these people? Until they actually feel remorse for what they have done.

It’s weird I feel like the examples being set by a lot of adults these days are sending some crazy messages to the next generation. Even looking at Lady Gaga’s shows and many others. They are highly sexualised but filled with kids under 10.

Anyone under the public eye needs to realize that kids look up to them and that the things they do will get reported and be seen my millions.

It’s a sad state of affairs when those in positions of power don’t realize the power they wield.

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SHTBOX

In Life,SHTBOX,Social Media on April 15, 2011 by kiltforhire Tagged: , , , , ,

Surry Hills Twitter Beer O'Clock Exchange Superhero Party

The SHTBOX Superheroes

It stands for Surry Hills Twitter Beer O’Clock Exchange.

It stands for fun and good times.

It’s an informal meet of awesome people who use Twitter.

Thanks to SHTBOX I have met so many fucking superb people – you all know who you are 😉

Myself and two legendary characters Mal Damkar aka @maldamkar and Mitch Malone aka @mitchmalone met on Twitter nearly two years ago and decided to catch up in the real world – SHOCK HORROR!! For all I knew both of them could have been killers/stalkers/nerds thankfully it turned out they were just cool motherfuckers. On that first night a few other people turned up including the lovely Emily Wearmouth aka @EmVicW and Mandi Bateson aka @mab397. The first time we all met was so awesome we did it again the next week and more people came…and more people came.

In fact I believe Emily, who met her fiance at SHTBOX, is marrying him this weekend in London!! How cool is that!?

Some weeks we had thirty to forty people turn up at the same location – The Clock Bar in Surry Hills in Sydney (see how Surry Hills fits in to the name. Mal came up with the whole name. He’s a genius that lad).

Sometimes we organised crazy nights of fancy dress. The last one we did was superheroes. Last count there was six Superman. It was amazing. We’re in that picture up there.

Everyone is invited and we only have two rules:
1 – No name badges
2 – No cunts

Simple huh!

Alas I have been sadly remiss in not attending this year. In fact just close to its two year anniversary I seem to have stopped going and I think that this has to change. Starting in May I’m going to revitalise this awesome event with gusto!

It’s time to bring the SHTBOX back. It’s time to round up all the old faces and invite so many new ones.

Let’s get SHTBOX back on the map after Easter!

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What the hell does UnAustralian mean?

In Lessons,Life on April 15, 2011 by kiltforhire Tagged: , , ,

I noticed my friend Jaya Myler (@jayamyler) on Twitter saying she thinks the term UnAustralian is being bandied around too much this week.

In fact this ad came out this week:

And it made me realise that having lived in Australia for the last seven years I have no idea what UnAustralian means.

It only seems to be used by people who want to have a go at other people when they have no basis for attacking them or when they don’t want to be as honest as they should.

People have tried to explain UnAustralian as being all about mateship, a bond between people etc etc and yet I don’t see that happening a lot. At least no more than in any other country I have been in.

Now I realise this blog post may upset some of my Australian friends but to be honest I don’t think I’ve heard any of them ever utter the phrase except in jest – the problem is that politicians, advertisers and a whole bunch of others seem to use it as a way of getting at people they don’t like or don’t agree with and I personally think that’s damned rude. If you have something to say to someone then say it and don’t hide behind a phrase that doesn’t seem to exist in modern day.

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m UnAustralian for writing this blog post but to be honest the bond I have with my friends in the UK is the same bond I have with my friends in Australia.

I’m proud of my Scottish heritage. I swell with pride when I hear the Flower of Scotland sung and I have no doubt Australians do exactly the same when they hear someone sing their national anthem.

So yeah I guess I’m calling out the phrase UnAustralian. Maybe I just don’t understand it but then I guess I’d like to ask people…do you understand it?

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Chivalry isn’t dead…but maybe it should be?

In Lessons,Life on April 15, 2011 by kiltforhire Tagged: , ,

Whenever I’m sitting down on public transport I always get up to give a woman or an elderly gentleman a seat.

I always hold doors for people to allow them through.

I hold car doors open for women.

I hold seats out for ladies at restaurant (although it’s not like I run into restaurants and then do that for random women that would be weird).

Most of the time I’ll allow a woman to go in front of me at a bar (unless I’ve been standing in a massive queue for 10 minutes).

But over the past few years I’ve noticed a strange disturbing trend and that is that many women just don’t accept a man being chivalrous anymore. They tut, they ignore, they say “no thanks I prefer to stand” when you offer them a seat and, I suppose, it feels kinda weird for me because I was brought up to always do those kind of things.

My mum (who I should point out called me the other day because she read my blog and was all teary about my post on family so I really should say hello *waves*) brought me up to be polite, to be respectful of people, to always ask people how they are and be concerned for people’s welfare. She made me realise that the most important part of being a human was to care for those around you and to treat women with respect.

But these days it’s getting harder and harder to be chivalrous and pleasant. I find more and more people are quick to snap at you and god forbid you hold a door for someone. Yesterday I held a door open for a woman and she said “I can do that myself you know” and gave me a horrible look.

I’m back using public transport these days and have now gotten up from seat to offer it to someone eight times. Only once has someone taken the seat. It’s getting to the point that I’m starting to think that I shouldn’t do it anymore.

So I put it out to the world – do you think that men should stop being chivalrous?

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Video Gaming

In Digital,Life,Video Games on April 4, 2011 by kiltforhire Tagged: , , ,

Had a very interesting night tonight on Twitter. I noticed a woman say she had bought her kids Bulletstorm (a really fun but uber-violent First-Person Shooter).

I asked what age her children were and she said 10 and 13 years old. This made me take a step back. I was actually stunned. A 10-year old playing Bulletstorm!! Madness. I have a massive list of games that I wouldn’t let a 10 year old play and that is one of them…there is a blurry line as to what age I would let kids play that game but 10 just seems to be a tad too young.

I’m not judging the mother here. Maybe she believes that her kids are sensible and stable and can handle playing that kind of game. She probably knows them better than anyone and she even said she knows her kids ‘know it’s only a game’ but what happens when they go to school and tell their friends.

Those other kids will want to play it. They will want to get their hands on it. Or they will want to head to their mates house to play it.

And this is where i have the problem I guess. We have ratings for a reason. Many of us in Australia have been fighting for an R18 rating to ensure that certain games are seen by certain audiences. It’s for a reason. Across the globe there are a lot of games that have an 18 rating because the content is deemed unacceptable to 10 year olds in the eyes of most gamers.

I have grown up playing games. I play Pong back in the 70s and I have played every single GTA game. I played Modern Warfare for hours and hours (not Black Ops though that was a bit shit). Hell I even played Leisure Suit Larry when I was 16 and was baffled as to what a profalactic was but I believe that we have rating systems for a reason.

Yes they are a guideline

Yes they are an option.

But if a storeowner sells a 10 year a copy of an 18 game in Britain or an NC-17 game in the US (I think that’s the rating) then they can be fined a damn lot of money because it is illegal.

In Australia there are some people who don’t believe an R18 should be introduced and who are doing their damned best to stop it ever happening.

I could go on but the amazingly talented writer Mark Serrels who writes for Kotaku in Australia says it so much better than I:

R18+: Rationality Is Dead

Ultimately it is the choice of a parent to choose what film their kids watch, what content they see on the internet and what games they play.

I have no doubt the mother I spoke to is a good woman who knows her kids and I hope she sits with them while they play. But for the handful of fantastic mothers and fathers out there there are also a whole bunch who just want their kids out of their hair and will buy them any game just to keep them away…and that’s where the problems arise.

We need games ratings in this country.

We need parents to adhere to the ratings to ensure that those trying to stop the R18 don’t get any more fodder for their battle against us.

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Family…

In Life on April 3, 2011 by kiltforhire Tagged: , , , ,

I live on the other side of the world from my parents but manage to speak to them at lest three times a week. I love my parents not only cause they are my parents but because they are two of the best people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing in the world.

They are very different people but both have incredibly strong core values that they passed down to me and my sister.

My mum is a worrier and very emotional. She has been through a lot in her life but like the majority of Glaswegian women she has a fight in her that astounds me. She would stand up to a giant to fight for what is right.

She was a nurse before she retired. She worked in an elderly ward and looking after the sick. She is wonderfully compassionate but didn’t take any crap when at work. How she coped with people dying around her I’ll never know because I don’t believe it is anything I could ever do.

Mum also has a great sense of humour and an infectious laugh. Whenever I picture her I always see her laughing and smiling. I’m a mummy’s boy at heart simply because she helped mould me. She taught me to stand up for what is right, to believe in people and to look after the little guys who have no fight left in them. She would have made an amazing politician. I love talking to her on the phone and hopefully this week she actually buys a computer so I can video call her!

Oh one last thing about my mum she calls Jesus the first socialist. Which I think is pretty damned cool. I’m an atheist but I like the thought of some guy going around 2,000 years ago just trying to make people more equal.

My dad is something else. He’s my humour. My wit. My charisma. He taught me the craft of telling a good story and gave me a huge part of my personality.

I should point out that I have about a tenth of my dad’s charisma. He has so many friends that I lose count. He tells stories that can last for an hour and have everyone in the pub putting their beer aside just to hear the tale.

He’s an engineer to trade. Spent his life fixing trains for British Rail before being made redundant and then worked for a number of different firms including Weir Pumps.

Everytime we would walk through Glasgow people would stop and shout “Bert’ and have a wee blether to him before heading off. His sense of humour is brilliant and terrible at the same time. One of the best jokes he ever told me is this:

“Two zombies eating a clown and one turns to the other and says ‘does he taste funny?'” Brilliant!

He played football (soccer) all his life up until about three years ago (he’s 65 now) and was a superb player. Again I have little of his talent which is a shame.

My parents met when my dad was an apprentice at British Rail and my grandfather met him and introduced him to my mother. They married at 21.

I love them both to bits and couldn’t wish for better people in my life. They have supported every single decision I have ever made and always give me wonderful advice – even though I don’t always take it.

There are other family members that I want to talk about but I’m going to leave that for another blog post…

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My love of comic books

In Digital,Life,Technology on March 20, 2011 by kiltforhire Tagged: , , , , ,

I’ll never forget the first comic books I ever owned – glorious, rich images of superhero’s battling one another. They mesmerised me from a young age…and now 36 years of my life have gone by and I still read comic books.

I can sit on a bus or a train or a plane and happily pull out a graphic novel and sit and read it and people still stare. They look at you like you are some kind of Peter Pan who hasn’t grown up.

It’s a weird sensation sitting flicking through the latest Superman or Flash comic only for people to stare. I’ve even heard a few tuts in my time and the occasional whispered comment that I’ve picked up on.

But I’ll continue to do so especially with my iPad. Being able to access the Marvel or DC Comic store (although don’t get me started on how useless they are at times) and downloading a new comic still instills the same happiness in me similar to when my mum or dad would bring me some new comics to read.

I used to take a box of comics everywhere I went when I was young. So that I could always be near the stories I loved. I’ll never forget a weekend I spent at my parents friends place near Ayr, on the west coast of Scotland. I took a big box full of Superman, Batman, JLA, Aquaman, Spiderman and lots of 2000AD with Rogue Trooper stores – and when the weekend was over we drove off without them…

When I remembered I begged and pleased with my parents but they said that we had gone too far already on the way home and that their was no point in going back. I miss those comics.

Even living in Australia now I have stacks of comics back home in Scotland. They are in six long boxes in my parents loft and every time I go back to Scotland I sit in the loft with a torch catching up on some the classic storylines.

I also have a number of comics in their graphic novel format here in Australia as well as a number of collections but most of the time I download them these days as it allows me to enjoy them wherever I am. As I mentioned in my post about my iPad – one of the sheer joys of owning one is simply because I can carry my comics and novels with me.

There are a number of writers out there like Grant Morrison and Marc Miller (both Scottish – wooo!!), Geoff Johns, Brian Bolland, Brian Bendis and Alan Moore to name but a few whose stories could easily sit atop best seller lists if they were sold in novel format – yet once we place images onto the stories (as we have since humans could think) people seem to think it’s a childish endeavour.

Such a shame because a great story is always a great story no matter what medium is used to tell it.

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Like a boss

In Lessons,Life,Work on March 17, 2011 by kiltforhire Tagged: , , ,

The other night I had the pleasure of seeing Heston Blumenthal and something he said really piqued my interest.

He said the boss of a workplace should never get angry and lose his temper at his staff. Obviously most chefs you see seem to be rather angry (especially a certain Scottish one) and always seem to be shouting or lambasting their staff however Heston had this to say.

If a staff member is failing at his job then, said Heston, one of three things has gone wrong…

1. There is too much expected of them

2. They haven’t been trained enough in the role

3. They are not right for the role

And all three of those things are the fault of the boss.

This made me think of all of the bosses I have worked with and their attitude towards staff and the way they treat them. Now over my years I have worked with some very unsupportive and very unappreciative bosses and I always think I learned from them how not to treat staff.

1. Shouting at your staff, screaming at them, telling them they are useless etc is not the way to help staff stay productive. All it does is create doubt in their mind which isn’t good at all. You may get a quick boost out of them but ultimately you are messing things up for yourself and the company.

2. Your staff are the single most important aspect of your organisation. You should expect a lot from them but not the world. Give them enough to extend themselves but not too much that they end up in too deep.

3. You should train them up but never organise training sessions over the lunch time of the staff. It’s rude to think they should give up unpaid time to do training when the training is to help them be better at their job.

4. Give praise where praise is due.

5. If someone doesn’t enjoy something but another staff member does whey not switch tasks. People who don’t enjoy doing certain tasks will take twice as long and the job won’t be completed as satisfactory as someone who does enjoy the work.

6. Offer constructive criticism but also help them understand where they have went wrong and how they can avoid it in the future.

7. Friday’s from 4.30pm are beer time. Seriously. Your staff work hard so reward them from that point on to enjoy themselves.

8. Ensure they attend events outside of work to interact with others in their field. Yes they may meet people who may try to steal them but if they are happy and enjoy the work they tend not to leave. Attending these events help them learn from other peers.

9. Just cause you are having a bad day doesn’t mean your staff have to know. All it does is create confusion and fear in the office.

10. Be confident and strong in the office, listen to your staff but don’t bend backwards to please them. Ultimately you are the boss and still need to have the final say.

11. Don’t choose favourites. Again this creates discord in the team.

12. Enjoy yourself. It’s your job too 🙂

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Articles

A bad taste in my mouth

In Life on March 12, 2011 by kiltforhire Tagged: , ,

This is a strange rant but allow me to explain where it comes from.
I am a Supertaster. I have more taste buds than your average person and it means there are many things that I cannot eat such as spicy foods, certain vegetables not to mention that I cannot drink wine or whisky (which makes me pretty damned sad being a Scotsman!!) which means it’s a bit of nightmare when I head out for food. Eating out can be a problem when chefs leave certain food off the list of the menu. Nothing worse than finding some beetroot hiding in your burger!
Which brings me to my annoyance at purchasing something recently – An Emma & Tom’s Cherry and Goji berry bar.
Mmm tasty…or so I thought. You see the bar has only 22% dried cherries and 5% dried Goji Berries.
The rest of it was made up of dates (simply disgusting to my taste buds) and raw almonds (ok but not great) and that’s it. Now by my reckoning thats’s 73% of the bar I bought failing to have the ingredients I bought it for.
Now I understand marketing but I’m feeling a tad cheated out of my cherries and my goji berries. But mostly I just can’t stand the taste of dates. They are minging. Totally and utterly minging.
If the bar had said it was a Date and Almond bar then I would have walked away a little bit richer and without such a bad taste in my mouth.

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